Moral Support:
There was a day where I was going through a tough time at work. My boss had a lot on his plate and had a bad temper that day. I was yelled at for making a mistake on one of my electrical schematic projects and because I knew that he was already in a bad mood, I decided not to argue and accepted the punishment. It was one of those days where you wanted to consider quitting the job, Toto was there for me during that day. She listened to my problems, mentioned that no matter what happened, she would always support me and these were the small things that made me adore her. Toto would also be the clingy type where I would be doing some chores, making dinner, and she would always let me know that she missed me, everything that a girlfriend would do.. right? Were these feelings even real or were they all scripted from the beginning we talked? That's was I have been thinking about every single day. With the Japan trip slightly approaching, Toto mentioned that she would make the plans because she wanted our first meeting to be romantic. The itinerary was to meet at the airport, spend a day in Shizuoka, drive through Nagoya and stop at Nara, her hometown to introduce me to her relatives and friends. Thinking back, I was scared of the situation because I was so happy that everything was going perfectly. I should've followed my guts during that day because it would've definitely helped with the situation I have now. November 27, 2022 was my dad's birthday and I told Toto late in the afternoon about what I had planned for him originally. She quickly made a video for my dad saying happy birthday to father. I didn't ask for anything so that sensibility really touched me heart as well. She really did make me want to become a better man. I worked harder at my job, I read more books to improve my focus/empathy skills, I wanted to practice my Cantonese as well as Japanese so I could speak with her parents. 

The Transfer to Telegram:
A few weeks before my trip to Japan, Toto told me to download telegram. I wasn't sure why but soon after I downloaded the app, we did a video call where she played the guitar and sang for me. I did not bother asking about why we transferred to telegram but I was slightly confused because it was such a weird thing to do. I looked up what Telegram was, it's an encrypted centralized instant messaging service such as Line but more secured. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried but at this point, I trusted her with everything. Until this day, I'm still not sure why we transferred from Line to Telegram, I can still see the conversations she's sent so I'm confused (Let me know if you guys have any clues). Throughout all this, she had been taking care of her sister-in-law, her parents were still in town with her to assist sister-in-law's recovery, and making the deadlines for her work. I knew she was such a hard worker, I decided to purchase gifts that would relate on things she loved. I bought a sticker embosser which had her name engraved to the gift. I thought this would be an amazing gift for a book reader/writer. I also bought her a Christmas themed marshmallow plushie in the scenario she would miss me. Finally, I had a book marker I purchased for her because they're essential for book readers. I had notes written portraying my thoughts and feelings on them and I still have the gifts to this day. I may donate the merchandise to a non-profit charity as I have no use for it anymore.

To be continued… in part 5.
I believe part 5 may be the last update for this story because I have only met her for 3 months and I've explained the majority of the story. The next part will mention my experience in Japan as well as the reason why my vacation was cut short because of Toto. This all happened 3 weeks ago so everything is still fresh in my mind. For those who read my story this far, thank you and stay safe out there.

Final Thoughts:
As mentioned, I'm not mad that I met her. Yes, I have loans that I have to take care of now but I'm fortunate enough to pay it back slowly. I have a good job, caring parents, and loving support from my friends to help me. I also enjoy reading, writing, and playing golf thanks to her. So I would like to think meeting her had it's benefits. What pains me the most was the betrayal I felt, all of the feelings I poured out to her were for nothing. The feelings I put when I purchased the gifts, the nights I spent to fix the letters to make them perfect. What I have felt, I don't want anyone else to feel what I experienced, that is why I'm writing this to raise awareness.