妄想家・夢想家無名居士の夢物語の記録です
無名作家高山のエッセイ「ガーターベルトの女」の
映画化芝居化・・・その他いろいろ作品化できればなんでも
なんて途方もない夢を観ています

2019.10.12～高山とトンネル工事現場の近況：姉さんの状態

ちょっと今日は　高山のことから離れてつらいですが　私の同居人姉さんの今の状況を書かせていただきます　これまで何度か危険な状況を乗り越えてきた姉さんですが　今回は点滴をしていません　だから姉さんが今　口からの栄養水分の摂取ができないことは　致命的状況を意味します
夜にになって熱も出てきました　誤嚥による肺炎の可能性があります
この状況は予想されていたことです　この状況で私はなすすべもありません
経過を見守るだけです　往診も頼んでいません　往診してもらっても状況確認だけになると思います　延命処置をしないことを伝えてあります　前回誤嚥による咳き込みがひどいときは　その前の状況が元気だっただけに点滴をお願いしました　その後　点滴はしていません　それは姉さんが点滴を極端に嫌うようになったからです　注射する前からイタイイタイと声を出します
これまで何度も点滴はしてきましたが　このようなことはありませんでした
それを踏まえてと　点滴自体も延命処置になると思ったからです
確かに点滴で　以前の脳卒中によると思われる意識不明の危機的状態から徐々に回復することができました　一日1回の点滴で命がつながったと思っています
その時と今の状況はどう違うか　その後2回　点滴を再開し1週間続けました
そして前回の点滴が最後になります　点滴を繰り返す中で　状況は好転したものの　食事の時　または食後に数回咳が出ることが常態化しました
その時は　しばらくすると落ち着き　食事も続けることができていました
しかし　せき込むことが回数は少ないにしても常態化していることは　その後に重大な事態になる危険詩をはらんでいるということです
ですから食事に気を付けるようにしました　しかし　咳き込みがひどくなって食事を続けられなくなってきました　間食でそれを補うようにしてきましたが　その時も同じような状態で　十分な栄養水分補給ができなくなりました　間食でチョコバーやミルクバー1本を食べるときもあり　カロリー的には安心していましたが　水分補給は十分ではないという思いが合いました
昨日の午後の訪問看護の時の状態は　意識状態は弱いものの血圧体温その他問題はありませんでした
夕食は　咳き込みもあって小さじ4杯ほどのアイスにした栄養補給ドリンクエンシュアや野菜ジュースを与えました　間食で不足分を補うつもりでした
しかし姉さんが寝ている状態でしたので間食は出来ませんでしたが　私が3時過ぎに起きた時　姉さんの様子を確認すると起きていたので　間食にミルクバーを与えました　しかしその時は半分で終わりました
そして朝食は8時からしましたが　この時はせき込みでほとんど食べられていません　そしていつもはしばらくすると落ち着く咳き込みが止まらなくなり　痰も絡んでいるのがわかりましたので吸引しました
お昼ごろになると咳き込みは止まりました　そして姉さんは静かに眠りに入ったようでした　それはそれで安心したのですが　眠ったままの状態が続きました　無理にでも起こして食事を与えた方がいい迷いました
一度はベッドを起こし　いつもの食事のようにして姉さんに食事を与えようとしましたが　起きている状態ではない時に飲み込むことができるか試しました　一時的瞬間的に飲み込みできるとこもありましたが　咳き込みもあってやはり無理だと判断　しかしその後　なんとか水分だけでもとスポンジに浸して口を湿らすこともしてみました　時々飲み込むことがあったので期待しましたが　やはり無理はできません　私のこうした焦りが誤嚥を常態化させたのかもしれません　今は静かに見守っているだけ
姉さんの状態が少しでもよくなることを願っていますが　正直言って期待できません　これまで何度か危機を乗り越えてきましたが　来るべき時が来たという思いです　数日前には見舞いに来てくれていた古くからのお友達に
姉さんはアイスを食べさせてもらいました　その時姉さんは　自分で口を開けていたのです　それが今はじっと寝ている状態
0時半に確認してみました　熱が出ていたので覚ますために使っていたものを交換
また明日　ここに姉さんのことを書くことになるかもしれません
とりあえず今日はここまで
どうもお疲れお疲れ
なんだかお腹すいてきました

高山の作品から罰金十万円の恋　作：高山

2013/07/03 
女の子は、パンティを脱いでそっと俺の上に乗った。

「本番は駄目だけど、バレなきゃいいし特別。」

ここは、所謂おっぱいパブだ。

パンティを脱ぐのも禁止だし、もちろん本番は禁止に決まっている。

薄暗い店内にはお客がけっこう入っている。

柱や壁のあちこちに「本番禁止見つかり次第罰金十万円！！」

と書かれている。

初めて来たこの店で今、前で微笑む女の子を気に入り指名して、

もう一時間近く二人で話したりいちゃついていた。

酒も入っていたが、女の子のその申し出に俺は興奮して頭が冴える。

女の子は、俺の物を掴むとそっと自分の濡れた部分にあてがった。

向かい合わせになって座った俺の上に女の子はまたがっている。

俺の物はこれ以上ないくらいに勃起していた。

柱に書かれている罰金十万円の文字が俺を更に興奮させた。

過去に風俗には何度も行っているが、いった事がなかった。

射精しないのだ。

精神的な問題だった。

最初から本番を目的で行くと、何故かいかないのだ。

初めのうちは、それに焦りを感じて更にいかないようになったが、

今では最初からいかない物だと開き直ってソープにも行っていた。

思わぬ展開と危険性に俺は興奮していた。

女の子は、ゆっくり俺の物を中に入れた。

充分潤っている。

俺は、女の子とキスをする舌を入れて絡ませ合う。

微かに煙草の匂いがした。

煙草の匂いが、人間的だとも思え更に興奮して来る。

俺は、下から女の子を突き上げる

女の子の顔が歪む。

綺麗な顔立ちが歪むのは、美しいと思えた。

俺達は、リズムを合わせて上下した。

俺の物は早くも限界が来ていた。

しかし、ここまでは、どこの風俗でもよくある事なのだ。

この先が、自分自身を客観視してしまい、いかないのだ。

お金を払って女の子を抱くと言う行為や、どうせそこには、

愛はないのだと言う考えが、散り散りに浮かんでは消えるからだ。

それだけで無くて色々な考えが、浮かぶのだが、

とにかく夢中になれないのだろう。

俺は、やはり駄目かなと思いながら腰を動かす。

目に罰金十万円の文字が飛び込んで来た。

その瞬間俺は、自分が果てるのが分かり女の子をあわてて退かせた。

生で入れていたのだ。

俺の精液はギリギリでソファに飛んだ。

女の子は、微笑みながらありがとうと言うとソファを急いで拭いた。

俺も女の子にありがとうと笑いながら答えた。

どうやら、バレずにすんだようだ。

女の子は、周りを注意深く見ながらソファを拭き、言った。

「特別なんだからね。もう三十分したら私お店終わりだけど、お茶でも行く？」

俺は、もちろんと頷いた。

罰金十万円の文字がなければ、その後の俺達の恋は上手く行ったか分からない。

厄介な性格だと自分自身でも思う。

おわり

高山の作品紹介
次回は　短編小説「沖縄のナイフ」

このnoteの目的
無名の作家高山の創作活動を支援すること
そして　彼のエッセイ「ガーターベルトの女」を原作にして作品化すること
あなたが魅力的なMという女性のとりこになりますように

【 For filmization of essay "The woman of the garter belt" 】～ I want you to read the wonderful essay which a wonderful woman appears. My last challenge to filmization.

Episode 11

M series continues.
It is comparable to the "007" series.
Still, I want to write more than I can accept.

I know that it has not been read as much as before, but for some reason it was possessed a story of M.
When I write M and my best friend of Yakuza, I remember it very much and it is painful, but I still want to write it.
People say that they will die twice, but once they are dead in this world.
Again, it is a time when people forget.

For yakuza 's best friend, even at the Keitai novel site, I write fiction and write it, but there are various things to write with non - fiction.
I call him A.
He got acquainted with M because I took him to M's bar.
A got into a yakuza after graduating from junior high school, but sometimes he went to high school for student clothes that the defect wore. I do not know why, but I got along well with each other.
Since he was a teens he is a strong fight.

Once, sometime when I was in high school I had a problem with him, and he came when I was in the kendo.
Because I was frustrated, I hit his arm with a wood sword.
Because I thought that I would lose to him if I fight with him with bare hands.
He is about one and a half meters and I was ten centimeters lower than him at that time.
My body was not made and I objected to him with a wooden sword but still I was beaten by him and beaten many times from the top. While being beaten, I poked his eyes with fingers from the bottom.
It is Antonio Inoki style.
Even after that, I use this hand many times when I'm fighting, but it is the first time I have fought with A.
I punctured with my fingers, blood came out of one of his eyes, and formed from there reversed and kept punching him.
All members stopped on the way, but neither he nor I was tattered. A seemed to be blind, so he went to the hospital immediately.
The number I was beaten was overwhelmingly me, but I am strongly beaten.
Still a few days, my mouth went out and I could not eat anything.
Fortunately, A has healed after a while.
Therefore, the boss of the school where each other was familiar came in and reconciled.
Even though a bad boss did not enter inside, A wore eyecups and came to the dojo.
A said, "Because I did not think that an amateur could do that, you are amazing."
I knew that his arm, which he struck with a wood sword, was also fractured later. He was also amazing because he was hitting me with that arm.
It was not a teen fight.
Well, there are various things with A and I got along well.

I have been working here and there till the middle of my twenties. I did not contact A, but I came back to the country town by chance.
A was totally dragged. I saw him wearing a suit, I laughed.
After that, I came to see him well.
A was feeling a sense of inferiority to middle school graduates, he bought a lot of books that I recommend.
A likes hard boiled, he also reads Kenzo Kitakata and hard boiled overseas.
A told me that books are interesting, but he always looked at kanji and meanings that he do not know by having a small dictionary.

When I went to M's bar together, A liked her once.
A also liked movies, M and I well encouraged him to be a video.
And he was a man who was not disordered even if he drinks or drinks.It became a little cheerful.
As soon as he graduated from junior high school he entered the world of yakuza, where he was trained there, but he really was strong against liquor.

M and three of us went to see some foreign movies, but I can not remember the title.
When we were going to eat together, he called a phone on his cell phone and I remembered A back in a hurry.
When I was in high school, I went camping once or twice, and it was exciting with M and that story.
We told that M said "Camping is good," we stopped.
There are a variety of toilet problems and insect repellent measures for young girls to go.
When we say that camping is difficult, M insisted that we would definitely go.
Saying that is all right, she was laughing, "You can hit me."
We decided to go somewhere overnight. Since M says that she wants to swim in the summer, I searched for a campground with a toilet neatly on the beach and with a simple shower. Then it was surprisingly close.

On the camping day, A borrowed a mini bus and said to M, "If you can not sleep with a tent, you should sleep here."
Although the appearance of the mini bus was old, inside was thoroughly cleaned.That was his attention to M.
Since M says to sleep with a tent unless it rains even if it rains, A bought a large dome-shaped tent.
When I say "This tent is out of our teens, I did not get out of hand",　Hｅ said, "If you and me are only two, it's good because it is old," but Ｈe was smiling.

While watching M swimming in the daytime, A was fishing with Jersey and Ron T to hide the tattoo because there were some surrounding eyes.
I am not good at fishing, so I was looking for shells.
I swam with M, but I felt bad for him because A does not swim.
I am tired of fishing and taking shellfish, A and two people sat on the beach and smoked cigarettes while drinking canned juice.
I got some fish and some shellfish.
We cooked rice at the request of M and cooked rice and prepared to eat retort curry as a bonfire.
I baked the shellfish and baked the fish properly.
A was repeating that M is good, so do not take my woman.
When I said so, A said, "I wish I had known M before," we both laughed.
Also, he said it was fun to do such a thing for the first time in a long while.
He was already an adult because of his age.

After eating, we talked about various things until the sunset.
I baked both shellfish and fish, but it was not very tasty.
M was surprised that rice cooked with rice canteens was delicious.
M wore a parka on a bathing suits, wearing the shorts by cutting jeans.
A said, "Because the toilet may be dirty, but because it is over there", M laughed, "I am fine, I just finished the toilet in the ocean."
M told me, "I want to go to the toilet because it is dim."
While watching the bonfire, A was drinking a lot of beer. I drank cola and juice with M.

As M told me that she wanted to go to the bathroom I went along.
We went on walking with a small flashlight.
It was a washing toilet made of old concrete, but it was not beautiful as expected.
When M came out from the toilet she came asking for a kiss.
As I was kissing lightly, I got excited, I brought her to the toilet, and committed her from behind.
I did not mind about A, but because of the dirty toilet situation, I went up early.
M cleanly wiped that out and kissed me lightly as "I was excited."

At that time, I heard a cry from "Wow!" When I got out of the bathroom in a hurry, A ran naked and went to the sea at night.
Because it is night, only me and M are watching, but A is naked.
I and M laughed in spite of ourself, but I could see white body and tattoo of A well.
It's night, and the light is about fireworks nearby.
A was not able to swim to hide a tattoo in the daytime. "Oh, he wanted to swim," I thought.

Then M could slide off my T - shirt and shorts and pants.
"It's okay, because everyone can not see small things," M laughed and threw my clothes on the beach.
And M took off his clothes and took off to the bikini as well.
When she threw it in the same place as I, she ran into the sea.
"Oh, she did it!"
Although it is hard to see because it is night, we are naked.
I also ran with laughing.
A was surprised for a moment and laughed at first looking at M.
And, A said, "Even if it is dark, she is good in style",and he dive.
A went down to the ocean, while dive many times over and over.
Perhaps, A probably thought that it was bad to see M's nude. It is bad for me.
A went quite far and cried to me to come here.
I managed to go up to A and managed to float around with two people, "I'm fine because M is the best swimmer and she will come so far".
When coming up to the ocean, I only know the smiling face, only the moonlight.
Even if M comes, we do not see her naked so much.
There I only knew that there were humans if they were several meters away.

M swam in crawl and came to our place.
While watching M swim, A said "she is pretty much better than you or I am" with admiration. So when I asked "if you could see her, "I was laughed at A, "I can not see the details."
When M came to me, she laughed "Mr.A, you wanted to swim,didn't you?".
A laughed as "I am upset because you are having sex in the toilet."
M said, "Was it wrong?" she was floating while giggling with laughter.
M hid her chest lightly, but I guess A could see it when he approached.
I thought that intuition of A was sharp, and I was laughing in the belly.
M, I, A in order, in the sea.
M told me, "When I was born this time a man is good," we said, "That is different". M replied "I guess it's okay for men to be good with each other."
A shouted, "As eyes gradually get used to the dark, M-chan's body can be seen and erect !!"
M hid only the chest while floating, so I shouted that I also erected.
Even at the tide water we did not float well so far, but M was good.
A said "I can not stand" he went even further off the coast.
M laughed, "He is quite different from usual person."
Normally cool A was not there, as if he were like a teens boys.
M cried out with a loud voice, "If you are Mr. A, three people can be good!"
When I say "Motherfucker" to M, M looked like a useless mischievous face, and lightly kissed my cheek.

"Both are good, it looks like a boy," M says, she began rubbing while saying that she had me in the ocean, "This is like a boy."
Even though I had sex with a toilet a while ago, I went to the behavior of M suddenly.
M hugged at me, saying, "You are a boy."
"Good, there are such friends," M told me, crawling back to the shore.
A also laughed when he returned from the sea, "I guess you had sex again, M was the queen."
Certainly M was queen.

When I said that we wanted to return, A said that I should do this a little more.
While looking at the sky with two people, A picked up "stand by me".
"Good, this song and that movie".
"And you saw it at the movie theater, I suppose it's a video," A said.
At the end of my teens, I was definitely released and I was watching at the movie theater, but at that time, A It would have no time for it.
He probably spent his teens without doing such an ordinary thing.
"To be sure, it's a lyric feeling when you're on my side," he said, "I think so," I replied.
While singing loudly with that part, they were watching the sky of only the dark moon.
When I got back to the tent, M had already put on clothes and threw a bath towel for us. Then she gave me a change of clothes.
The bonfire was burning big with M putting the tree we were collecting.
A hid the front with a bath towel, changed her clothes quickly and came to the side of a bonfire, he ordered M to sing "stand by me".
M was good at this song.
Although it seemed to be embarrassed at first, she sang with a beautiful voice.
The profile of M singing is beautiful, and the profile of A who is listening to it was also beautiful like a boy.
When he handed over Marlboro, when he gave it to me with a lighter of Zippo, both of us smoked cigarettes slowly while listening to the songs.
At that time, I also smoked the same Marlboro as his.
At that time, I did not dream of the fate waiting after that, we both listened to M's songs.
Now I am changing from Marlboro to Lucky Strike, but when I last saw A, he laughed at me as a traitor.
Now Marlboro's design has changed completely, what will A think of it?

A is no longer in this world, but "Stand by me" will sing well when I get drunk.
I still do not feel like investigating the meaning of lyrics.
I think that the lyrics that A thinks are good.

End of episode 11

「ガーターベルトの女」　1　2　3　4　5　6　7　8　9　10　11　番外編　番外編2  14  15  番外編3
「ガーターベルトの女　外伝」（フィクション編） 1
「新・ガーターベルトの女　１　2　3　4　5　6　7　8　9　10
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