>Student (わたしが書いた文)

The bug that came on my lettuce was not a ladybug. Ladybugs are cute, but bugs I saw were so spooky and smaller than ladybugs. I live on the fifth floor of an apartment building. I wonder how they come my veranda.

I use neck cooler everyday. Do you know it? I feel it's good item when it over 30 degrees. I told it to a colleague of about 45 years old. Then he said "Wearing it takes courage for me. It's easy for women, but we don't wear unnecessary things, so we don't have such items. Handy fan and parasol too". I didn't realize there was a difference between how men and women feel. I think that middle-aged Japanese males especially think like that. How do you think?

>Corrections (修正された文)

The bug that came to my lettuce was not a ladybug. Ladybugs are cute, but the bugs I saw were so spooky and smaller than ladybugs. I live on the fifth floor of an apartment building. I wonder how they got on my veranda.

I use a neck cooler every day. Have you heard of them? I feel it's a good item to have when it's over 30 degrees. I mentioned it to a colleague who is about 45 years old. Then he said, "Wearing it would take courage for me. It's easy for women, but we men don't wear unnecessary things, so we don't have such items like hand fans and parasols, too". I didn't realize there was a difference between how men and women feel. I think that middle-aged Japanese men especially think like that. What do you think?

今回のピックアップセンテンス

Do you know it?
→ Have you heard of them?
How do you think?
→ What do you think?
上が「（ネッククーラーを）知ってますか？」、下が「あなたはどう思いますか？」を意図して書きました。日本語から直訳すると私が書いた文になるかと思いますが、ネイティブには訂正後の文が自然なのですね。

I feel it's good item when it over 30 degrees.
→ I feel it's a good item to have when it's over 30 degrees.
色々間違ってはいるのですが、 item の後ろに to have が付いているところが1番のポイントでしょうか。日本語だとアイテムってワードが既に「持つための物」っていうニュアンスを含んでいるイメージですが、英語ではそれをしっかり書く必要があるということですね。

日本語による所感

今回は、私が同僚のミドルエイジ男性に聞いた話をメインに書きました。もう最近みたいに暑いと、自分のことで精いっぱいで他人の格好に着目する余裕を失っていたのですが、ミドルエイジ男性なりの苦悩があったのですね～（もちろん、気にしてない人は気にしてないでしょうけども）。私は日々自分のコンプレックスを隠すためのお洒落を追究しており、時にそれによって合理性皆無の格好になったりするので、ミドルエイジ男性の苦悩には多少なりとも共感できました（下半身が気になるからふんわりスカートを履いた結果、脚が冷えるとかね……）。ただ、下手すると熱中症になりかねないので、暑さ対策は積極的に取り入れ頂きたいものです。余談ですが、ネッククーラーのことを「冷たい首輪」と呼んでいるのは私だけでしょうか？