Designing your life to fit only your needs.
 
You can design your life and be fine in yourself, when you are by yourself.
If you want a harmonious relationship, you must design and apply all that fits you and your partners life.
You can’t build a team while only focusing on yourself.
Anyone who will tell you that, has not had a true unadulterated love.
You can’t have a family if you only concentrate on self. Family, marriage,children do not have a place for self.
People who teach you self, are alone and by themselves and would love to have you join that world.
Misery does love company.
You have to be careful who you take advice from.
Someone who has never experienced any part of true love or relationship can not tell you anything productive.
You can be a “cat lady” surrounded by 30 cats having tea with other lonely miserable friends or a man who sits at his computer indulging in porn all day, every day. Or, experience and live the glorious life and world of ups and downs and have true growth in a relationship.
If you are not willing to do that, then release the person to whom you are torturing with your self-centeredness.
It will be fair to them to let them know where they stand in your life. There is no”I’m doing this for our future” so things will be better then. It has to be worked on now. Alienating a person is not making them want to look forward to a future with you. You are pushing them away.
They can go on and find a love that does want to grow as a unit,couple etc., .
They won’t have to listen to someone say “don’t you want to make me happy?”.
That there is a sign of a truly selfish and self-centered individual, a narccisit so to say.
 
Life is short.