失敗?

Well I bought some sweets yesterday...


BUT, I had really good excuses. 
1. low calorie
2. its special edition / 限定
Of course I know that I caved in to my weakness, but that's ok. Now I know not to even look at the sweets section / or in today's case, the bread section.

Overcoming myself is one of the most challenges tasks. Addiction. Thank the holy buddha that I never took up smoking or other more addictive habits. I have even steered clear of coffee. But there are other things like milk tea, Seiyu bento, sweets, alcohol... cracking my joints when I really shouldn't, Netflix, YouTube..

Cravings and the strong sway they have over my usually rational decision making is extremely frustrating. It may seem easier to just give in, or I convince myself "Hey, you've been working hard, why not treat yourself?". One of my favorite excuses is that I was talking about the science of beer with one of my students and so that evening I had to do an "experiment" myself. I drank beer when I specifically told myself I wouldn't until Saturday. BUT, it was for science!

At the same time, I've also been told that if resisting that which brings me joy is causing stress, I should allow myself to partake in whatever pleasure that is. Finding the balance between a healthy lifestyle and stress management is possibly one of my biggest sources of stress.

My favorite phrase in Japanese is 悪循環.
Life is a big vicious circle.

I wonder if I will ever be able to escape.

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