BGM: Senri Oe - APOLLO

I worked late today. This morning I went to AEON as usual and spent the morning time reading a book with truly evergreen music of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. It was a long serial dialogue between a Japanese popular novelist Kiyoshi Shigematsu and a philosopher Shunsuke Tsurumi (重松清 & 鶴見俊輔『ぼくはこう生きている 君はどうか [I live my life in this way, Tell me yours] 』.) It was quite an interesting book.

Reading this dialogue, I was surprised at the fact that their plain, clear words are so easy to understand for me. I've found that their opinions (and their styles of thinking themselves) are trustworthy. This has been strange for me because I have been a true "maverick" guy who doesn't like obeying someone. But, even though their attitudes are not so "great", I can feel that they speak "their truths" which have come from their severe, and unique lives. Yes, they are quite, really "original" and touchy. I have gotten interested in Shigematsu's works, especially his novels. They won't tell me any lie to me.

After that reading, I started enjoying another book. It was the one I had mentioned in this journal, Koji Miyaguchi's "The Outsider Kids Who Can't Cut Cakes Properly [宮口幸治『ケーキの切れない非行少年たち』]", which tells us what kind of struggles the outsider kids (sometimes they are even sent into any "jails") have to experience because of their difficulties within their brains (the limit of recognizing or understanding things.)

As for me, I was also a kind of an "outsider kid" who couldn't stay still in a classroom. Even now, I can't stop moving my body while reading books. You might have noticed that my writings could have messed up content which moves recklessly from here to everywhere, maybe because of autism.

Now I've noticed that both of them seem to have similar content to discuss. They're talking about "the sad outsiders" who must have unique personalities, so have certain handicaps to live on. Should we treat them as a kind of uniqueness, or as an object to be cured by any medicines (for their own, precious happiness?) This is one of the most difficult questions for us I guess.