I realized that all I want to do is to die. But I can't. This is because I already killed myself. I can't live for myself. I'm not worth living. So, I'm living for people. That's why I can't commit suicide. Some, not some, Few people will be sad about my death. It is all the desire that I have to die. No desire but long for death comes to me. That's natural because I already killed myself, I'm not me. Just only death wish is with me. He is the only one who can live along with me.

Well... I realised that. The fact that all that I want to do is to die. I should feel so unhappy but I'm not, which shows I am literally not me. I can't cry. Tears can't be dropped off from me. I even can feel happy. Furthermore, I can smile, though.

Why does it sound so beautiful to me??