I thought about what should be the next topic to talk about on Clubhouse. I thought that I had let everything out completely, but I wanted to talk about the meetings about autism and also the 'danshu' meetings if I start another topic. How have I built myself again by attending those meetings? In those meetings I confessed my mistakes in the past, and also I talked about how to start my life again by reflecting on those mistakes. I can feel that those trials have made me recover step by step. My friends also accepted them. I hope those experiences can tell the audience something useful.

I created a group about autism on MeWe, a circle of social media. I posted a few things on it. Autistic people tend to eat the same things and they are basically picky eaters. If they got into something, they dig it till they become a specialist. Autism doesn't show a 'lack' of intelligence therefore sometimes people find it later, and often it is considered as 'trouble making'. I can see that other people are interested in them. I also want to see myself in various aspects through this group.

Today I should attend the 'danshu' meeting, but I had to work so quit it. Sometimes people ask me why I drank such huge alcohol. When I was a child, people still make their life plans by expecting to build houses and families. I also believed that I would make my family and also have a house strictly. But I had to give up those brilliant future therefore I was disappointed completely. Ah, I even wished for my death and drank alcohol, and hurt myself. Once I exactly had such an ambition...

I found that people talked about how we have the 'role models' to live as autistic people. Who can be 'role models'? Probably Temple Grandin or, even if he wasn't diagnosed, Steve Jobs can be such models. How about quoting various 'weird' characters and treating them as autistic people? Colombo, and Ninzaburo Furuhata... I started attending the meetings about autism and learned various lifehacks and self-management. We can find our role models in near friends, not only famous people/celebrities.