Our “new” house was built around 30 years ago and had been unoccupied for two years before we moved in. Fortunately, our landlord made sure to ventilate the house and take care of the yard, so even though it was an old house, it was almost ready to be lived in. Nonetheless, we still went to the house several times before moving in in order to clean up the house and the yard. As you can imagine, the inside of the house was full of cobwebs and dust and some mold, but all of the things in the house had been cleared out. At first glance, the yard was also quite neat. However, upon closer inspection, it proved to have bits of trash, mostly plastic and cloth, scattered all over the yard. Especially underneath our deck, we found many items, including hangers and clothes pins, hair ties, and children’s toys. That made sense considering that the person who last lived here was a single mother with children. In the end, I picked up an entire large trash bag full of garbage from our yard.

Well, that’s done! … or so I thought. Once we started living in our house and using our yard every day all kinds of things started appearing. A coca cola can, an air gun, torn work gloves, wires from who knows what, etc., etc. Funnily enough, I wasn’t the only one who made discoveries. We keep two chickens in our yard (which is a double pun in Japanese because the word for “two birds” and “yard” has the same pronunciation and also sounds like the word for “chicken,” but that’s just a side point). We keep them in a movable henhouse so the chickens can dig up the ground and eat the weeds and bugs growing there. The next day, we move the house to a different spot. In this way, the weeds disappear and our soil gets tilled. (Incidentally, the same system exists for working your field called a “chicken tractor”). Anyway, when we moved the henhouse, I noticed something. There were a bunch of seashells on the surface of our yard. At first, I couldn’t believe my eyes. These definitely weren’t here yesterday, right? I confirmed with my husband. So, where did they come from? Then I remembered. Chickens like to dig. (Did you know that?) These seashells must have been buried in our yard.

I decided to test my theory. Just as I expected, every time we moved the henhouse, seashells poked out of the dirt in the place where it had been the day before. I might have predicted that we would find trash or old toys in our yard, and I’m sure that can’t be helped to a certain extent, but why seashells? Tochigi prefecture doesn’t even border the ocean. As the days passed, I found all kinds of shells and stones all over our yard to the point that it was creepy. What in the world was going on? Did the former owner cover the yard in shells? Is it because we live in Ichikai-machi? (This is another play on words since the “kai” in the name of the town where we live means “shell.” The word “kai” can also be a way of phrasing a question in Japanese. Okay…I’ll stop with the puns now). Not being able to contain my curiosity, we decided to ask the landlord who told us that the original owner of the house was a ceramicist who used the shells for making pottery. (I looked it up on Google and discovered some interesting history there!) So, that explained the mystery of why there were seashells on our property, but not why they were buried all over our yard. Did the former owner spread them out over the yard and they eventually sank into the dirt? Did the kids who lived here afterwards use the shells as playthings and bury them on purpose? In any case, I am wondering what to do with all of the shells.

But, it’s not just the shells. With the coming of Spring and cutting the grass, and the soil becoming softer, more trash is appearing. Three marbles in front of the entrance to our house. A small figurine of “Dorami-chan” underneath the big tree. Two pieces of what looks like a shoe behind our greenhouse. The thought of what comes next sometimes makes me afraid. One of these days I’m going to dig up a human skeleton, I said to my husband, only half joking. There is nothing to do but throw away the things we don’t need, but sometimes I grow tired wondering how much longer I’m going to be cleaning the yard. It makes me think that cleaning the yard is a bit like cleaning the trash in my heart.

What do I mean by the “trash” in my heart? That which is ugly. That which has served its use and is no longer needed. That which is out of place. Anger, pride, envy, judging or looking down on others. Just like I thought I had cleaned my yard thoroughly, I thought my heart was in pretty good condition. But if you look closely, there is still a lot of trash hidden here and there. If someone starts to dig at the surface, all kinds of things from my past start to come out. No matter how many times I throw things away, there is still more to be found. Sometimes I grow tired wondering how long this process will continue. Maybe there is no end. I’m not sure about the trash in my yard, but I bet that I will continue to find trash in my heart until I die. That’s because it is an expression of the life that I have been living. Some things are obviously a byproduct of my past, while others are mysterious and make me wonder, what is that doing here?! All I can do is throw them away as I become aware of them. Although, it is probably more accurate to say, ask God to remove them.

Fortunately, Spring has brought with it more than just an awareness of the trash buried deep in my yard. The change of season has caused dozens of flowers to pop their faces out of the ground. Something that hadn’t yet bloomed the day before is visible today, alive and beautiful. The thought of what will come next makes me full of anticipation. In my heart also, I’m sure that I will find flowers blooming when the time is right. This too is an act of God’s grace.