9/9 「自分が少しでも良い方に向かえるか、変われるかに集中したほうがいいよ。人がどういうかとか、周りが自分を変えてくれるか、きっとそれに満足することはないんだ。だから自己中心。迷わなくていい」
重陽の節句だそうで。長寿であることを願う日だった。
あまり身内のことについて語る気はないけれど少しだけ。
昔から、長生きすることは自分のイメージになかった。祖父が２人とも50代で亡くなっていて、祖母も父方だけが健在で、母方は脳卒中（詳細はご容赦）で以前の暮らしをできなくなったまま20年以上の時間を過ごし、旅立っていった。なんだか「孫に囲まれて、老後を悠々自適に過ごす」ということが想像できないのだ。もっと言えばいまの仕事（旧来型日本企業）に多数いる「定年まで勤めあげた人」も親族ではほとんどいない。
「もしあと１年の命ならば、ひたすらがむしゃらに生きるだろう。君もそんな気持ちで生きてみるべきだと手塚はいう」という歌があった。漫画の神様が本当にその言葉を言ったのか詳しくないけれど、林檎教信者としては "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" というジョブズの言葉も頭をよぎる。あ、林檎教といってもあの御女王様のことではないです。その曲なら「これが人生 私の人生 鱈腹味わいたい 誰かを愛したい 私は自由 人生は夢だらけ」とか無数に。
photo:北海道展で買った海鮮弁当に練り物付きカットサラダ

9/9 "You should concentrate on whether you can go for the better or change. You will never be satisfied with what people are doing or whether others will change you." Self-centered. Don't hesitate. "
It seems to be a festival of Chungyang. It was a day I wished for a long life. I don't really want to talk about my relatives, but just a little. For a long time, living long was not in my image. Both of my grandfathers died in their 50s, and my grandmother was still alive, and my mother had a stroke (forgive me for details) and spent more than 20 years without being able to live before, and left for the trip. I can't imagine "surrounding my grandchildren and spending my old age comfortably". To put it another way, there are few relatives who have worked until retirement age, which is often found in current jobs (traditional Japanese companies). There was a song saying, "If I have another year's life, I'll just live crazy. Tezuka says you should try to live with that feeling." I'm not sure if the god of manga really said that word, but as an apple believer, Jobs said "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" Cross my head. Ah, apple religion doesn't mean that queen. If it's that song, "This is my life, I want to taste my life, I want to love someone, I'm free, my life is full of dreams," and so on.
photo: A cut salad with a paste on a seafood bento that I bought at the Hokkaido exhibition