Here are some tips for my former co-workers, especially for the younger ones. I wrote it in Japanese 3 years ago, and this is a rough English translation of that article.

There are people who you think are unpleasant. There are people you don't like, and/or people you don't agree with. You often find them at your workplace.

Naturally, you want to avoid talking to such people, but I recommend that you talk even more with them.

Meanwhile, you do not need to consciously talk a lot if you have a good relationship with the person.

If you are talking with someone you feel comfortable with, and if there is some misunderstanding, you might say, "No, no, no, I didn't mean that..." That will be enough. They would immediately respond with “Oh what? Okay, I got it”, and the whole problem is solved.

But whenever you get into a little trouble with someone you don't get along with, they always ask, "Well, why didn't you tell me that first?", "How come he knew about it before I did?", "That was your intention from the beginning, wasn't it?”, “This is not the first time something like this has happened” and so on.

This can be very frustrating.

But if you have no other chance to work collaboratively with him, I think you had better prepare for talking with him frequently. That is the only way to accomplish your task.

I’m not saying you should go drinking with him after hours. You don’t need to strain yourself to be friendly with that unpleasant person.

But from 9 to 5, you should probably spend more time with him than someone you feel is easy to work with.

The first thing to do is to go to him with humility and willingness to talk like…

Some people might react by “Don’t bug me. I’m busy” at first, but basically, people do not feel bad when they are frequently spoken to, consulted, and asked for their opinions and approval. They feel that they are respected.

However, some people are still bitter and sarcastic when you talk to them that way, and there is nothing you can do about it. But you can't tell if someone is like that or not until you talk to them. And even if they are, try again. If you persist, they might soften up.

By practicing this, some of the people you have had difficulties with in your office will turn into people who will collaborate with you properly!

That is what relationships are all about. So, don’t give up talking to people you have a hard time with.

Give it a try. Because once you succeed, it suddenly becomes a lot of fun.