According to famous book < Stumbling on Happiness>, Professor Daniel Gilbert↓
“”For the most part of people tends to think “What conversation partner wants to hear from you, especially new stories.” But it is high misunderstanding.
For example, when your friend bring a story of movies or musics which you never hear or listen ever since, you just can’t be interested into it or get bored by that.
It is because a experienced from movies or music is so much complexity so ordinary people is impossible to explain nicely what is that.”

I completely understand because a movie you never watch how you can explain it to other people effectively and getting their attention, unless you have higher ability for art of conversation. Person who is not good at communication does it most likely.

Why you make people got bored?

Moreover professor says↓
“In spite of it, when they finish talking boring story to you, you do just as what they did to you and give them get bored...
So our mission to this research, to find out why that phenomenons occurred.”

The experiment was roughly like this↓
* a participants were divided to 2 groups
* Sent out questionnaires [Which you think you can enjoy “first hearing story” or “already known story”?]
*The researcher calls “first hearing story” is “novel story” and later one called “familiar story”
* Person who was chosen to as Speaker, asked to watch TED and they would explain it to listeners. At that time, the listeners separated to 2 groups, one of group watched the same video, other one didn’t watch the video

Most of us overestimates a listener would like a story them have not known yet

The result was like this↓
* Either speakers and listeners predicted to get exited to new experiences or information they never have before in a condition of pre-experiment.
* In fact, the listeners had positive reaction when the speakers talked to them the video which was familiar to the listeners too.

Contrary to expectations from both participants, it’s better talking familiar experiences to the listeners, the speakers had been gotten favorable impression from the listeners.

Let’s shift the listeners attentions!

Professor observed why that things were happened↓
“Most of us terribly be worse to explain things which the listeners never have before. It can be a trigger to forget to tell where important information is easily. Of course if the speaker is good at explaining, then the listeners will enjoy listening but most of us is not like that.

Why we enjoy listening conversation what we’ve been experienced already because at least we understand what the speaker talking about. However, almost we do tend not to be cautious to the listener is confused but try on focusing to them be excited.

It’s fine to entertain to the listener as long as they enjoy any new experiences or information they get from you but you are somewhat lack of information from what you wanted to tell them making the listeners got bored and that risk is huge.
It’s typical for the person who does not correctly reading the situation what the listener’s needs

For that sake, if you want to have conversation with your partners, first of all you need to know what they’ve already been through is the best option. And after that, you can go to the story what makes them excited and more enjoyable. So bye for now then.