I was just wondering the middle of the night, what is my actual happiness?

I was born in some east Asian country and had never once thought that I will be away from my house or hometown or let alone leaving my country. I was just thinking that I would be growing up in my hometown and have good friends, get married perhaps and having a kid or 2 by now and having a life close to my family. I have love western music and cultures but never really thought that I will be IN it or going for them.

But life is definitely stranger than fantasy, ya'll...lol.

 I am away from my country for...how long? nearly 20 years? I meet my parents only once in 5 or more years, I could not attend the funeral of my grandmother who raised me. Who could have imagined it would be like that? Certainly not myself.

But now (I am almost 40 yrs old), I know that I have chosen this life to let me be who I actually am and let others (my parents for ex') be who they really are (or can be) and enjoy what they actually want to enjoy in their life.

past is gone, the future is unknown, one definite truth is that the present is a gift (That is why we call 現在形をプレゼントテンスと言うんだよ).

And now, after staying in the states for years, I am in the middle of nowhere in South East Asia, definitely in peace and understanding life with my 5 cats.

So I am now grown enough to be able to receive a gift of a present.

I really hope all you have a restful, relaxed, peaceful night with their loved ones.

PEACE & LOVE