First of all, This is My Perspective.
People often research "How do you deal with anxiety"
How do you handle? How do you cope?

I have zero trust in the clinical psychologist and counselors community anymore after all of my experiences in last 2 decades.
I'm still on the meds.
But this is not the solution.
This is only for "sleep" but nothing else.

You've probably been told by your friends, family members or strangers or online friends..

"Try counseling" "Find therapist" 

"Try Yoga and healing music"
Also i've been told by othes survivors quite often.

I tried but i have herniated disk.
That was disaster.

And i press the part of my entire body include my bones works to make me feel better.
And bleathe exercising works too.
But rest of them, nope.
Music, talking to strangers are distraction.
I belive this is also survival skills.
When Our brain system can't handle too much pain or anxiety hits, we try to distract ourselves.
This is what i need for each moment or hours in a day. Music helps me to get through rough days, years.
But lately, this is not gonna be big change..i realized while i was watching "The good doctor"
"We can not be alone.You need love." by Dr.Glassman.
Well, i have to admit.Best solution is that.
And, that is very difficult to find someone new or just even meet in this degital modern society 2023..almost 2024.2024ish.

Well, let's go back to therapy session.For the most part they don’t have the education to deal with mental disorder
(They just use "anxiety" "depression" which is common.That's it.And they just nodding.) Unless a therapist has been through hard core long term trouma themselves just like you otherwise they are wasting your valuable money and time and energy.For me, the best solution is changing environment and a best friend who can have understanding and comforting.And they don't ghost you when you are at worst.

And, i'm currently not able to move to somewhere else.
I'm on the welfare.There're ridiculous rules, and criticism over here.I have zero close family members or friends but abusive ex.Nar.
No emergency contact.
Therefore, i became homeless twice which was hell.
I never wanna go back to the streets.
This counry is so damn cold to people who doesn't have close family.

And due to few physical and mental disorders such as serious complex ptsd.
I have eating disorder, flashbacks, anxiety attacks, severe insomnia, servere chronic pain..my list is endless.

The Most hardest part is I am alone.Noone by my side.Isolation drive me nuts..

But if we can find someone who is not the best but better person.
We should belive them again.
Maybe they hurt you. And you get hurt.
That sucks, i know.

But making effort to build relationship again might be the last option even if it takes forever.
De 28th 3:06 early morning
Just My thoughts.