“理想と現実の折り合いを付けるには「徹底的にやり切る」しかないのだと思っています。「あの時はあの時の自分のベストを尽くしたのだから、あの結果はしょうがなかった」そう自分を「心から信じ込ませられる」ことが、次の一歩を踏み出すには必要なステップ”

悪循環が終わったのは突然で、徹底してやり切った後に「あ、自分ってここが限界なんだ」と悟った瞬間が来たのでした。本当にある日突然「なんでこんなことしてるんだろう」って冷静になってしまった

途中で引き返してしまったとしても、一所懸命に投じた時間と経験は必ず自分の身になって返ってくるというのも経験上知っています

恋愛に殉じた経験がコミュ力に、部活に生きた経験がチームビルディングに活きる。その時に「終わった」ハズの経験が、突然他の経験や状況と紐付いて、「自分ならではのスキル」として花開く。人の本当のスキルとは、それまで生きてきた経験が組み合わさって発揮されたもの。

成功できる人ほど何かで失敗したときに、これは自分の才能のせいだとは考えない。努力が足りなかった、課題が難しかった、などを失敗の理由にする。そういう人ほど、チャレンジする気持ちをずっと持ち続けることができ、成功する。

モテる男は、誘いを断られたときも、「これはたまたま確率で外れただけ」と考えて、さらに次！次！とアタックしていくわけです。これをできるのがモテる男。

そしてモテない男は、断られるたびに「何がいけなかったんだ！？あぁ、やっぱり俺はダメだ！俺の誘いをＯＫしてくれる人なんで、この世の中に一人もいないんだ！」というように落ち込む。

その結果、次に声をかけることがしづらくなり、ずんずん内にこもってしまう。そしてさらにモテなくなってしまう。

これは仕事でも同じ。どんな成功者でも、最初からすべてがうまくいくわけではない。エジソンだってスティーブ・ジョブズだって、たくさんの失敗を重ねてきた。それでも、とにかくくじけず、ただ「確率のゲーム」と考えて進んでいく。

SNSを見ていると、その人の人柄ってにじみ出てるなと思う。エッセイでも、SNSでも、詩でも。書いて表現する自分と、実際の自分の雰囲気があまり違わないでいたい。

人がお店に入る時に、どんな目をするかを観察して、各国で異なった傾向がある。

日本人は、お店に入るときに「いらっしゃいませ」と言われて「どうも」的な会釈をしていた。

お店に入ったら、まずはお店の人の目を見てあいさつを交わしたい。ほほえみも添えて。自分が受け入れる立場になった時に、スーッと無視されて ないもののように扱われるのはとてもさびしい。景色の一部にはなりたくないな、と身にしみた。

目線一つでうれしかったり、さびしかったり、後悔もしたり。目だけで伝えられることって意外と多い。

「出会い」と認識するのは相手のことを「特別だと思った瞬間」があるから。

何か自分にとって、キラリと光るものを相手の中に見つけた瞬間。それは、共感だったり、やさしさだったり、強さだったり、能力だったり、心が掴つかまれる瞬間。

「出会い」がどちらかが 相手の光っているところを見出すこと。だとすると、自分からそれを探しに行きたい。「あ、この人は長く付き合えそうな人だ」「この人なら自分を分かってくれそうだ」「自分にはないものを持っている」「なんて、やさしい！」…など。

どこに通じるものを感じたのか。どこに、自分にはないものを持っていると感じたのか。どこか惹かれるところがあって、それを「出会い」と認識する。

果てしない たーくさんの一瞬の中で、自分から光を見つけに行こう。「出会えた」と思えたら、その人を大切にしよう。

先端の赤い薬品、リンが発見された17世紀から、発明、普及、禁止の歴史。

マッチ工場の劣悪な環境。当時は1日10時間、週6日の工場勤務という、過酷な労働環境だったらしい。加えて、マッチの先端に使われるリンは非常に有毒。歯が抜け落ちたり、ひどい場合は下顎が溶け出してしまうのだとか。産業革命前の労働環境…恐るべし。

19世紀末、イギリスの産業革命の波がようやくこの国にも波及。マッチは大型機会による大量生産が可能に。木材を薄い皮状にし、それをマッチ棒サイズになるまで細かくする。そして箱も作る。これらが機械化されると、どれだけ楽なことか！

ヨンショーピンは何度も街が再建されているらしい。過去には街全体が3度全壊しているらしい。それはスウェーデンとデンマークの関係が悪かった頃。ヨンショーピンは、スウェーデンの二大都市ストックホルム、ヨーテボリをつなぐ最短経路の中心に立つ街。交易の要所として早くから発達した都市だった。

ヨンショーピンは二大都市の最短経路の中継点。そこを潰してしまえばそれは川を堰き止める巨岩。二都市の機能が大きく低下する。故に、デンマークに侵略されては再建を繰り返していた。おかげで産業革命前の歴史的な建築物はほぼ全て消失したらしい。

楽しく生きるなら、今目の前にいる人を愛することなんだと思う。今目の前にいる人を愛せないのなら居場所を変えること。愛せる可能性があるのなら試してみること。一緒にいるのだから。それがいちばん簡単で難しい。

「たまたま枠からでる」これって一種のビギナーズラックです。知らないからこそ、固定観念にとらわれずにアイデアがわく。

始まってほしいと思っていたことも、終わりたくないと思っていたことも、逆に始まってほしくなかったことも、終わってほしいと思っていることも、時間というものはその思いを汲んでか汲まずか、始めてしまうし、終わらせてしまう。

始まる前の想像など想像でしかなくて、妄想でしかなくて、始まってみれば私の五感が、私の喜怒哀楽をベースとした感情が、その時々を全力で経験していた。

クラスに熱烈に好きだった男の子がいて、お互いが志望する高校が違った。中学卒業は大好きな人と毎日理由もなく会って、話したり、笑いあったりできなくなるということを意味した。二年間、その彼と会える毎日を楽しみに生きていた私には、それはそれは悲しい現実であった。

「あなたが書きたいことはなんですか？」「あなたは、何を言いたくて書いているんですか？」っていうのを、私は一番知りたいんです。

出版されて、その作品が読者の目に触れたら、「本当は書きたくないこと」が「作家さんが本当に書きたいこと」だと思われちゃう

「人生で、あと何回ごはんを食べられるんだろう？」みたいな問いって、あるじゃないですか。限られたごはんのチャンス、せっかくだから好きなものを食べよう、みたいな。文章も、人生で、いくつもいくつも書けるわけじゃないと思うんです。だったら、自分がわーっとなるものを書いてほしい

自分が一番、「これ置きにいったな」とか「勇気出せなかったな」ってわかります。読者に言われるよりも先に。なんか、ぼやっとした罪悪感みたいなものがある

「取り繕った自分で勝負して否定される」のと、「体当たりして否定される」のとでは、わけが違う

「繕った自分」で勝負したからこそ、否定されたとき「本当だったら違ったかもしれない」っていうもやもやがずっと残る

結局「受け取らなきゃいけない痛みの量」って決まってるんですよね。そうそうそう！！うすーくして長引かせるか、一気に受け取るか。どっちか。

「あのときああすれば」っていう「ifの世界」の呪いにかからないようにするためには、「あのときできることはあれが精いっぱいだった」って思えるくらいの自分で向き合わないといけない

彼にとっては、自分がしたいことをするのは当たり前。なぜなら「自分」が一番大切にされるべき存在だから。

「自分を優先する」「自分のしたい、をそのまま叶える」というシンプルなことが当時のわたしの常識の中には定着していなかった。

目からウロコがバラバラと崩れ落ち、体中から今まで持っていた価値観がボロボロと剥がれ落ちた体験だった。

あの5ヶ月の旅はそれまでの「わたし」が新しく生まれ変わるような出会いや価値観の変化、そして自分を愛する、ということをスタートした時間だった

書いたら、自分で自分のwantを認識出来る。それを認識した以上は、そこから目を背けて生き続けるのが難しくなり、書いたことが現実化してしまう。「本当にしたいことは何？」自分自身の思いに意識を向ける。

誰かと一緒にいる=その人にコンテンツとされることを覚悟してその人と一緒にいなくてはならないのか？とずっと考えている。

誰かを介すことで自分の行動、言動が歪んだ解釈をされて、私の意図してない私が独り歩きしてしまう

「生きててよかったなあ、わたし」

読んでくださること、スキを押してくださること、気にかけてくださること、コメントをくださること。ぜんぶぜんぶ、間違いなくわたしの空っぽの瓶に溜まっていて。ハート型の瓶はいつも愛で満タン

「わたしの文章は、だれかに届いているんだ。わたしの文章には、価値があるんだ」

あなたに出会えたこと、あなたが同じ空の下で生きてくれていること。そして、わたしと同じ、そして違うかたちの孤独を抱えていること。

あなたは一言でどんな人と言われたい？思考が広がる問いかけ。「太陽みたいな人」、これが今までで一番嬉しかった言葉。「健康で、よく笑い、好奇心旺盛で、自分の言葉を持っている人」６０歳になっても８０歳になってもこんな人でありたい。この記事を書いたのは２年前だけれども、今も理想とする人物像は変わっていない。

決して熱波を送ってくるギラギラの太陽でなく、陽だまりような暖かさを送ってくれる太陽がいい。そして、一緒にいる人が動きたくなるようなエネルギーを与える太陽。

ちゃわんさん
一言と言われると難しいですよね。インスタ見ていると、一緒にいる人もいい笑顔をしているから貢献していると思う！

笠井 康弘（やす）
そうだと信じてます！笑少なくとも自分は自分が楽しくて幸せを感じられる人と遊んでるから向こうも同じレベルで楽しんでくれてたら嬉しいですね👏

I believe that to strike a balance between ideal and reality, there is only one option: 'thoroughly see it through.'

Being able to convince oneself, 'I did my best at that time, so the result couldn't be helped,' is a necessary step to take the next stride.

The end of a vicious cycle came suddenly, and the moment I realized 'Oh, this is my limit' came after thoroughly seeing it through.

Even if, in the middle of it, I suddenly became calm and wondered, 'Why am I doing this?' and turned back, the time and experience devoted wholeheartedly will inevitably come back to benefit me.

Experiences dedicated to love contribute to social skills, and experiences in clubs contribute to team building.

The experiences that were supposed to be 'over' suddenly connect with other experiences or situations, blossoming as a 'unique skill' of oneself.

True skills of a person come from the combination of life experiences.

The more successful a person is, the less likely they are to attribute their failure to their talent.

They attribute it to insufficient effort or the difficulty of the task. Such people can maintain the attitude to keep challenging and eventually succeed.

Successful men in dating think, 'This rejection is just a matter of chance,' and continue to approach the next opportunity.

On the other hand, unsuccessful men get depressed, thinking, 'What did I do wrong? I'm no good after all!'

This negative cycle makes it harder for them to approach the next time, leading to further isolation and reduced chances of success.

This applies to work as well.

Every successful person didn't have everything go smoothly from the beginning.

Edison and Steve Jobs both faced numerous failures.

Nevertheless, they persevered, considering it a 'game of probabilities' and moved forward."

Whether in essays, on SNS, or in poetry, I feel that a person's character comes through. I want the written and expressed self to align with the actual atmosphere of the person.

When people enter a store, there are different trends observed in how they make eye contact in various countries.

In Japan, when entering a store, people respond to the greeting with a nod as a sign of acknowledgment. I

want to make eye contact and exchange greetings with store staff when entering. Including a smile.

It's quite lonely to be treated as if you're not there, even if not outright ignored, when you're in a position to receive others. I don't want to be just a part of the scenery, and I learned this firsthand.

A simple look can convey happiness, loneliness, regrets, and more. There's surprisingly much that can be communicated through just a gaze.

Recognizing something as an 'encounter' happens when there's a moment you think, 'This person is special.'

It's when you find something shining in the other person, whether it's empathy, kindness, strength, abilities, or a moment when their heart captivates you.

It's about finding where the other person is shining.

In that case, I want to actively go and find it.

'Ah, this person seems like someone I could be friends with for a long time.' 'This person seems to understand me.' 'They have something I don't.' 'How kind!'...

Where did I feel the connection? Where did I feel they have something I don't?

There's a pull somewhere, and that's how I recognize it as an 'encounter.'

In the countless moments, let's proactively go and find the light. If you think 'I've encountered them,' let's cherish that person.

The history of the discovery of the cutting-edge red chemical, phosphorus, in the 17th century, its invention, dissemination, and prohibition. The harsh working conditions in match factories. At that time, it was reported that the labor environment was grueling, with factory work for 10 hours a day, six days a week. Additionally, the phosphorus used in match heads was highly toxic. It could lead to teeth falling out, and in severe cases, the lower jaw melting.The labor environment before the Industrial Revolution... truly terrifying.

In the late 19th century, the wave of the Industrial Revolution in the UK finally reached this country. With large-scale machines, match production became possible. Wood was processed into thin sheets, which were then finely cut into matchstick sizes. And boxes were made. When these processes were mechanized, how much easier it became!

Jonkoping has been rebuilt many times. The city has reportedly been completely destroyed three times in the past. This happened during times of strained relations between Sweden and Denmark. Jonkoping, located at the shortest route between Sweden's two major cities, Stockholm and Gothenburg, was a city that developed early as a trade hub. Jonkoping is the central point on the shortest route between the two major cities. If you block that point, it's like blocking a giant rock in the river. The functions of the two cities would significantly decline. Therefore, it was repeatedly invaded by Denmark and had to be rebuilt. As a result, almost all historical buildings from before the Industrial Revolution disappeared.

To live joyfully, it's crucial to love the person in front of you now. If you can't love the person in front of you, change your environment.

If there's a possibility to love, try it. Since you're together, it's the easiest and most challenging thing.

"Coming out of the frame by pure chance" is a kind of beginner's luck. "Not knowing" allows ideas to emerge without being bound by fixed ideas."

Things I wanted to start, things I didn't want to end, things I wished hadn't started, things I wished would end – time, whether it acknowledges our desires or not, starts and ends.

Imagining things before they begin is nothing more than speculation, and once they start, my senses, emotions based on joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure, experience each moment with full intensity.

There was a boy I passionately liked in my class, but our chosen high schools were different. Graduating from junior high meant not being able to meet and talk to him every day for no reason. For two years, the anticipation of seeing him every day was a sad reality for me.

"What do you want to write about?"
"What are you trying to say?"

These are the things I'm most curious about.

Once a work is published, what readers perceive as "something the author didn't really want to write" becomes "what the author truly wanted to write.

" There's a question in life, like "How many more meals will I have?"

Limited chances for meals, so might as well eat what you love.

In writing too, you can't write an infinite number of pieces in your lifetime.

So, write something that makes you excited.
I want to know that before readers say it.

There's a vague sense of guilt, like a faint feeling of wrongdoing between "competing with a polished self and being denied" and "colliding head-on and being denied."

The amount of pain to be received is determined in the end. Yes, that's right! Whether to make it thin and prolong it or accept it all at once. One of the two. To avoid falling into the curse of the "if world" where you think, "If only I had done that at that time," you have to face it with the understanding that you did your best at that time.

For him, doing what he wants is a matter of course. Because "self" should be the most cherished existence. "Prioritize yourself" and "fulfill what you want as it is" were not established in my common sense back then. Scales fell from my eyes, and the values I had throughout my body crumbled. That 5-month journey was a time of new encounters, changes in values, and a start to loving myself.

If you write it, you can recognize your own wants. Once you acknowledge it, it becomes challenging to continue avoiding it, and what you've written tends to materialize. "What do I really want to do?" Focus your awareness on your own thoughts.

Being with someone = preparing to be "social media contents" for that person? I've been thinking about this all along. Someone introducing me in their own way on social medias distorts the interpretation of my actual intention of actions and words, and the "unintended interpretation of me" takes a walk by itself.

"I'm glad I'm alive, me." Reading, pressing like, caring, and commenting.

Everything is undoubtedly accumulating in my empty bottle.

The heart-shaped bottle is always full of love.

"My writing is reaching someone. There is value in my writing."

The fact that I met you, that you are living under the same sky.

And that you are carrying various shapes of loneliness, similar and different from mine.

How would you like to be described as a person in one sentence?

A thought-provoking question.

"A person like the sun," this was the happiest phrase I've ever heard.

"Healthy, laughs a lot, curious, and has their own words" – even when I turn 60 or 80, I want to be a person like that.

I wrote this article two years ago, but my ideal image of a person has not changed.

Not the glaring sun sending intense heat, but a sun that sends warm sunshine like a sunny spot.

And a sun that gives off energy that makes people want to move together.

My friend
It's difficult to be described in one sentence, isn't it? Looking at Instagram, the people you're with have nice smiles, so I think you're contributing! I believe that's true! (Laughs)

Yasu
At least, I'm having fun with people who make me happy and feel good. If I were told in one word, it's difficult. But if I say it simply and stupidly, I'd be happy if they said, "I'm having fun with you at the same level because I'm having fun and happy." haha

I really don't care who is dating who, who is having an affair with who, I really don't care, I'm not interested, is it worth watching that news? I think. Why do people like gossip stories.... It has nothing to do with my life, so I don't care and every time I think, live your life the way you want as long as you don't hurt people.

People often say things like, "Let go of your attachments," but if you've found something you want to hold on to, you should hold on to it until you're satisfied.

Top 3 Words that make you happy just by saying them out loud
No.1 "Happiness". "I'm so happy right now!" "How happy I am!" "I've been happy all day." There are many ways to say it.

When you say the word "happy," you become happy. Why? Even if you have happiness, if you don't say it, your brain doesn't notice it. By saying "happy," your brain pays even more attention. When you can recognize it, you become happier.

On the other hand, if you say, "It's hard" or "I'm in pain. The brain pays attention to the harshness and starts looking for reasons or causes. It is the brain's mechanism to gather information when we pay attention.

[Charging Heat]
Temperature in the eye
Notice the difference in temperature
Reacts to warm and
and cold eyes
The difference in the temperature of my eyes
I may have made you uncomfortable.
Warm your eyes that are room temperature
Even though I see it in my eyes every day
I'm glad to see you
So much so that my eyes tell me it's good to see you
Warm your eyes
I warm them up so they're warm
so that I can store heat during the night
I'm going to sleep
#Poem

Recently, I often receive relationship advice from my girl followers on my Instagram question box. Me (A woman), who hasn't had a boyfriend for three years, has nothing great to say, but the most recent one was about cheating. She said, "I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. I love him, so I want to wait for him to change. What would you do?

I thought that she must be in a lot of pain because she loves him so much, but my theory is that people don't change so much, no matter how much he regrets it, in terms of the essential aspects of human nature, such as ethics.

So if you don't like him cheating on you, I think you should leave him and go out with a man who doesn't cheat on you, a man who can't cheat on you, a man who is the type of man who would think cheating is a hassle, a man who is so busy he doesn't have time to cheat on you.

If my partner were to cheat on me without switching to an open relationship, I would probably end up cold and emotional. I mean, I think he's a person who can't control himself. If there are problems in the relationship that led to the behavior, then maybe I was lonely, but it makes me sad because I think he's someone who won't bring it up as a topic for discussion. I think I would probably break up with him. If we were married and had kids, it would be a bit of a different story.

I'm not saying you should have zero floating feelings because you're human, and it's okay to have floating feelings, but if you're human, you have reason. I think we should use our reason to save ourselves.

It is enough to have a relationship that satisfies you, makes you happy, and makes both of you happy. If you have a moment when you are no longer sexually aroused by the other person, you can switch to an open relationship. I want all the girls who ask me for advice on relationships to be happy. I hope you live happily. I really do. I sincerely hope so.

Last night, a Taiwanese friend of mine messaged me to say that he had had a day of mishaps while traveling alone in Japan and wanted to call me. It was morning over there and midnight in Paris. We spent about an hour and a half taking pictures while talking on the phone in the rain. I was traveling alone, so of course there were moments when I felt lonely, and I thought it would be nice to be able to rely on each other in this way.

【Twister.】

Hate to be coerced. Hate changes and too much caring as well.

To the air that I'm pusshed onto,  to the colors that are forced to change I'm tempted to rebel.

I've made up my mind.
I'll go along with the change.
I'll do what I set my mind to.
I want to change

I want to use my mind
I want to use it the way I want to use it　　
As I want it to be
I'll do what I want to do

From the point where I choose
The world begins to turn

#Poem

In order to avoid living a similar life, you need to seek out irregularities yourself. The best way to experience the unusual is to go to places you don't know. It doesn't have to be a trip, but having breakfast at a local café or taking a walk along a new route is stimulating enough.