今でも鮮明に覚えている。仲の良いK君のお父さんが倒れたと報告を受けたあの日。

〇月〇日の朝、K君と私は同じ病院で理学療法士として働いていた。切磋琢磨しながら、互いに高め合う仲間として、日々を共にしていた。

一本の電話が鳴り、主任がK君を呼び出した。

その電話が彼のお父さんが倒れたという報せだと知ったのは、お昼を過ぎたころだったと思う。

私は彼の元へと急いだ。普通であればソッとしておくことが妥当だろうが、私は違った。それは私の強引な性格なのか、野球部で培ったアイデンティティーが発動したのか(ピッチャーがピンチになった時に声をかけるように)、K君に声をかけた。

私「大丈夫か、K君？」

K君「大丈夫です。」

その時の彼の表情はいつも通りだった。何も崩れず、取り乱す様子もなかった。

私は「K君は大丈夫だ」と心でつぶやいた。

その後も彼は何事もなかったかのように淡々と仕事を進めていった。本当にすごい人だと感心した。

皆さんどうだろう。

自分の親が倒れたとの報告を受けたら。想像したくもない出来事だろう。

K君はその想像したくない出来事が現実になってしまった。それでも彼は一度も取り乱すことなく、物事に集中し、担当している患者さんと向き合っていた。

その日の夕方。仕事が終わり、帰ろうとした時、Ｋ君から呼び止められた。

その時にＫ君のお父さんの病状を詳しく聞いた。

Ｋ君「父は、60代です。ＣＶＡ、重度右片麻痺と聞いています。県外に妹とコンサート観覧中に倒れ、その県の病院に救急搬送されそのまま入院しています。脳が侵されている部位はかなりの広範囲らしく…。」

Ｋ君の言葉はいつもよりやや早口だった。

私「大丈夫、大丈夫。」

これしか言えず…。

世間はコロナが出て、各病院も対応に追われていた頃。

まだまだ適切な対応が浸透していない頃であり、お父さんの帰ってくる日、回復期への対応は遅れた。

ただＫ君は強かった。Ｋ君のご家族は強かった。

そして、数週間が経った〇月〇日、

K君：「Yukiさん、父が戻ってきます。当院の回復期病棟に来ることが決まりました。Yukiさんに担当して欲しいです。家族とも話し合って決めました。家族全員の想いを込めて、宜しくお願いします。」

私：「わかりました！！」

私は自信を持って答えた。

Yuki：「全力で見させていただきます！！」

「私のPT人生、今までの全てを懸けてやる！！」

そう心に誓った。

そして、お父さんが当院に到着した。

お父さんはかなりの重度だった。
倒れてから数週間が経ち、廃用も進んでいた。

私は情報収集より始めた。
前病院からの報告書、画像、当院での検査結果などを見つめながら、頭を抱える。

「これ…。オレ…。どこまでやれるのだろう…。」

時計を見ると、21時を回っていた。

そして、壮絶な日々が始まった。

動作観察、分析-何が出来て何が出来ないか。

測定、検査-どのくらいの範囲があって、どこまで使えるか、どこから使えないか。

治療、訓練-どこまで出来るか、どこから出来ないか。どう明日へ繋げるか。

頭を抱える日々の繰り返し。

全ての患者さんの対応、カルテ記載。
明日の準備を終えてから、残された時間をすべてK君のお父さんのために使う。それが私の使命だった。コーヒー5杯と共に。

またふと時計を見ると21時？いや22時。

涙を拭く日々の繰り返し。

ある時、帰りの駅のベンチに座って電車を待っていた時、

何故か涙が溢れ出て、立ち上がることができなかった。

「私では助けられない…。」

そう感じた瞬間、自分の無力さに苛立ちを感じた。

治らないと判断し、装具をつけた方が良いと科学的に証明されているにしても、それを当たり前のように提案し、K君のお父さんを歩かせる自分。

未来の杖生活を予測し、杖を渡す自分。

全てひっくるめた涙だった。

ガチで泣いたのを今でも忘れない。

自分は20代、30代とガムシャラに理学療法士としての道を歩んできた。

クソでどうしようもなかった自分が、理学療法士になって成長してきた。

「あんなに、こんなにやってきたのに…。友達のお父さんを助けることもできない…。」

救えないやるせない思いと情けなさがガツーンと襲ってきた。

終電までずーっと泣きじゃくった。

けれど電車の中で目をこすりながら、「やりきってやる」「全力でやりきってやる！」と心に決めた。

次の日から、私は更にギアを上げた。

「6速しかない車だと思っていたけれど、7速も8速もあったんだな✋！！」

自分に突っ込みを入れたくなるほど、パワフルに取り組んだ。

不思議なほどのエネルギーが湧き上がり、自分自身に驚いた。

徹底的に毎日を突き進んだ。

「全力でやりきる！！」

そう決めた自分は強かった。

おかげさまで、その言葉は私の心の中に深く刻まれた。

それはK君のお父さんから教わったことだった。

彼は日々全力で生きていた。

「また家族で別荘に行く！！」

その希望を胸に突き進んでいた。

〇月〇日。K君のお父さんが倒れてから数か月後。

彼は退院した。

車いすが完全には取れず、屋内の移動にも杖と装具が必要となった。見守り～最小介助での退院。

K君：「ありがとうございました。」

私：「ごめん・・。本当にごめん。」

K君：「えっ！なぜ謝るのですか？」

私：「いや…。」

K君：「本当にありがとうございました。これ父からの手紙です。一生懸命書いたみたいですから読んでやってください。」

手紙に記されていたのは5文字。

「ありがとう」

利き手ではない方の手で描かれた5文字。

一文字一文字が震え滲んでいる。でも筆圧は太く濃い。

心が込められている5文字だった。

K君と別れた後、私は廊下の隅で泣いた。私は泣き虫だ。

数か月後、K君が1枚の写真を見せてくれた。
勿論、お父さんも一緒に写っている。
笑顔だった。

私：「よかった。本当によかった。K君もK君のお父さんも家族も皆すごい。」

この感動と感情は私の人生で最も素晴らしい瞬間だった。

そして、その日の帰り。

あの駅のベンチで再び座っている自分。

目を手でこすりながら、ガッツポーズをした。

自分に誇りを持って、自分を褒めた。

「やりきった。」

奇跡を信じて、全力でやりきる力。

これからもその力を胸に、多くの人々に感動を届けるために、私は歩き続ける。

All-out Bonding

I still remember it vividly. It was the day I received the report that my good friend K-kun's father had collapsed.

On the morning of October 0, K-kun and I were both working as physical therapists at the same hospital. We had been spending our days together as friends, working hard and improving each other.

A phone rang, and the chief called K-kun.

I think it was after noon when I learned that the call was the news that his father had fallen ill.

I hurried to him. Normally, it would have been reasonable for me to leave it alone, but I did not. I did not know whether it was my forceful personality or my identity that I had developed in the baseball club that was triggered. But I just called out to K-kun.

I said, "Are you all right, K-kun?"

K-kun said, "I'm fine."

His expression at that moment was as usual. Nothing fell apart, and he did not seem distraught.

I murmured in my mind, "K-kun is all right.

After that, he went on with his work as if nothing had happened. I was really impressed by him.

How about you?

What would you think if you received a report that your parent had fallen ill? It would be an event you would not want to imagine.

K-kun's situation was a reality that he did not want to imagine. Yet, he never once became distraught, concentrated on things, and faced the patients he was in charge of.

That evening. When he was about to leave after work, K-kun stopped him.

At that time, I asked him in detail about K-kun's father's medical condition.

K-kun said, "My father is in his 60's. I heard that he has CVA and severe right hemiplegia. He collapsed while watching a concert with his daughter outside of the prefecture, and was rushed to a hospital in that prefecture, where he has been hospitalized. The area of his brain that has been affected seems to be quite extensive..."

K-kun spoke a little faster than usual.

I said, "Don't worry, don't worry.

This was all I could say.

It was around the time of the Corona outbreak, and hospitals were busy dealing with the situation. It was a time when the appropriate response had not yet spread, and on the day his father returned, the response to the convalescent period was delayed.

But K-kun was strong; K-kun's family was strong.

And then, a few weeks passed, on October 0, words from him.

K-kun: "Yuki, my father is coming back. It has been decided that he will come to the recovery ward of our hospital. I have discussed this with my family and we have made a decision. Please accept our best wishes from the whole family."

Me: "We have to do it!"

I answered confidently.

Yuki: "I will do my best to see to it!

I will put my PT life and everything I have ever done on the line!"

I vowed to myself.

Then, his father arrived at our hospital. Looking at him, you could tell that he was in a very serious condition. It had been several weeks since his collapse, and his disuse had progressed.

I was busy gathering information. I was staring at the reports from the previous hospital, the images, and the test results at our hospital, and my head was spinning.

I was thinking to myself, "This.... I....... I wonder how far I can go..."

I looked at my watch and saw that it was around 21:00.

And then, the days of great suffering began.

Movement observation and analysis - what could be done and what could not be done.

Measurement and examination - what is the range, how far can I use it, and how far can I not use it?

Treatment and training - what can be done and what can't be done. How to connect to tomorrow?

The days are repetitive and heady.

I have to deal with all the patients and record their medical records. After I finished preparing for tomorrow, I would use all the time I had left for K-kun's father. That was my mission. With five cups of coffee.

I looked at the clock again and saw that it was 9:00 p.m.? No, it was 22:00.

I wiped away tears day after day.

One day, I was sitting on a bench at the station waiting for the train on my way home,

For some reason, tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't stand up.

I can't help you..."

At the moment I felt this, I felt frustrated at my helplessness.

I was the one who judged that he could not be cured, suggested that he should wear a brace even though it was scientifically proven that he would be better off with a brace, and let his father walk.

I predicted his future life with a cane and handed it to him.

It was tears all together.

I still remember how I cried.

I had worked my way through my 20s and 30s as a physical therapist with gusto.

I had grown up from a shitty, helpless person to a physical therapist.

I've come such a long way... I can't even help my friend's father..."

I was hit with a gut-wrenching feeling of helplessness and compassion.

I sobbed all the way to the last train.

But as I rubbed my eyes on the train, I decided, "I'm going to do it, I'm going to give it my all! I decided to give it my all.

The next day, I kicked it up a gear.

I thought the car only had 6 gears, but it had 7 and 8 gears too✋!

I worked on it so powerfully that I wanted to rush into myself.

I surprised myself with a strange surge of energy.

I pushed forward thoroughly every day.

I'm going to give it my all!

I was strong, having made that decision.

Thanks to you, those words were deeply engraved in my mind.

It was something I learned from K-kun's father.

He was living life to the fullest every day.

I'm going back to the villa with my family!

With this hope in his heart, he kept going forward.

On October 0, a few months after K-kun's father collapsed, he was discharged from the hospital.

He was discharged from the hospital. He could not fully remove his wheelchair and needed a cane and braces for indoor mobility. He was discharged from the hospital with watchful waiting - minimal assistance.

K: "Thank you very much."

Me: "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

K-kun: "What? Why are you apologizing?"

Me: "No..."

K: "Thank you so much. Here is a letter from my father. Please read it to him.

The letter contained five words.

Thank you.

The five letters were drawn with his non-dominant hand.

Each letter was shaky and blurred. But the pressure of the brush was thick and deep.

The five letters were filled with my heart.

After I left Mr. K, I cried in the corner of the hallway. I am a crier.

A few months later, K-kun showed me a picture. Of course, his father was in the picture. He was smiling.

I said: "I'm so glad. I'm so happy for you, your father, and your family.

This emotion and feeling was the most wonderful moment in my life.

Then, on the way home that day.

I found myself sitting again on a bench at that station.

I rubbed my eyes with my hands, and I was gutted.

Proud of myself, I praised myself.

I had done it."

The power to believe in miracles and to go all the way.

With this power in my heart, I will continue to walk to deliver inspiration to many people.